A Crazy person in the Woods

A Crazy person in the Woods

A Crazy person in the Woods

Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?
A: They take the psychopath.

I smoke. It’s bad for you, I know. Warnings on the package tell you so. That’s why I don’t mind them, because they are bad. My only problem with the warnings though: very scientific. I think they should also have to be philosophical. The front of the package should go, ‘Smoking causes fatal diseases.’ And the back I think should have to say, ‘But only 5% of the world’s population believes death is the end.’

A Crazy person in the Woods

A deacon is in the hospital and his good friend, a preacher, goes to visit him. The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed. The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies. At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, “I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here.” The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, “Please, get up. You’re kneeling on my oxygen hose.”

I don’t like the word ‘boobies’ — disrespectful to women. Boobies? They should be called ‘yaybies.’ How about that, everybody? Why is ‘boo’ in it when they’re awesome? They should be yaybies or hooraybies or standing ovabies. If they’re not perfect, they’re still OKabies. They are not great persabies, but I’ll touch them maybes. Feel free to use any of those. I would avoid hooraybies — that sounds like a disease. Some kind of herpes/rabies combo that you get when a dog bites your junk.