Old people jokes funny

Old people jokes funny

Old people jokes funny. Why are old people jokes funny? Well because they are true for the most part. Elderly can be very rude, grumpy, unpleasant and so on. They have forgotten more thing they you know. They got a lot of life experience and they don’t waste time. Remember to be nice to the old ones, you gonna be old yourself in the future. Treat others like you want to be treated yourtself.

– Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

– Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ‘How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?’
‘Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.’
– Three old guys are out walking.. First one says,
‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’

Old people jokes funny

A boy asks his granny, “Have you seen my pills, they were labelled ‘LSD’?”
His granny replies, “Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?”
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?”
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him,

“Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!”
”Heck”,said Herman,
“It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
The other replies, “Oh sure I do.”
The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?”
The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.”
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, “Who drives you to the beach?”
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to star in my own zombie movie, so I went down to my local old peoples home, stole all the wheel chairs and walking aids, then set the fire alarm off and waited outside with a shovel and a cricket bat.
An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
“You used to sit closer to me,” said the woman. So the man moved closer.
“You used to put your arm around me.” So the man put his arm around her.
“You used to nibble on my ear.”
“Let me get my teeth.”