These funny quotes and sayings about work, jobs, and bosses will free your mind from the grind. Grab a cup of coffee, relax, let these humorous quotations and funny sayings go to work…on your psyche. Your spirit will get a big raise.
Funny Work Quotes,
Group 1
1. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
– Lane Kirkland
2. No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
– Groucho Marx
3. Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.
– Huey P. Long
4. A consultant is a man who knows 157 ways to make love, but doesn’t know any women.
– Anonymous
5. Reheating leftover fish in the office microwave should be a fireable offense.
– Anonymous
Funny Work Sayings,
Group 2
6. Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.
– Robert Benchley
7. Guys with neck tattoos love asking “Are ya’ll hirin?”
– Rock @TheMichaelRock
8. I do my job in a very professional manner. I take money for it every chance I get.
– Melanie White
9. The Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
10. It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.
– James Thurber
11. It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
– Ronald Reagan
12. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
– Charles Lamb
Funny Quotes And Sayings:
“Work” Group 3
13. Personally, I have nothing against work, particularly when performed, quietly and unobtrusively, by someone else.
– Barbara Ehrenreich
14. Being a couch potato is not the same as being a failure. Being a failure implies that you were actually trying to do something.
– Anonymous
15. Wheaties: the breakfast of champions and the dinner of the unemployed.
– Ruminations.com
16. I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
– Jerome K. Jerome
17. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
– Oscar Wilde
18. No one’s dream job involves a kiosk.
– Damien Fahey
Funny Quotes And Sayings:
“Work” Group 4
19. Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
– Don Herold
20. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
– Bertrand Russell
21. On applications, where it asks if you’ve ever committed a felony, I like to write in, “Is lying on an application a felony?”
– Guy Endore-Kaiser
22. Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.
– Lemony Snicket
23. When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him whose?
– Don Marquis
24. Serious talk around the office of replacing me with a deli tray.
– Just Bill @WilliamAder
25. When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
– Helen Rowland
Funny Quotes And Sayings:
“Work” Group 5
26. I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with.
– Mike Vanatta
27. You should never protest outside a rich guy’s home during the day because he’s not there. He’s at work grinding the faces of the poor.
– Craig Ferguson
28. A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.
– Jay London
29. I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
– Lily Tomlin
30. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life:
Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!
Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
– Homer Simpson
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