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| Girlfriend Jokes |
Although girlfriend jokes are not so sought after as many other jokes. I decided to give them their own category. I have had some girlfriend throughout my life and one of them is my wife today. They can be annoying yes, but treat them nice and they will treat you the same way.
What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp?
A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
My last girlfriend had a tattoo of a chameleon.
Well that’s what she said, but I could never see it.
What is loud and obnoxious?
You’re Girlfriend.
Girlfriend Jokes
What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common?
If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet.
When meeting your girlfriend’s mother for the 1st time, always push her over to see what your girlfriend’s balance will be like when she is older.
Why is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend make it hard!
My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two girlfriends.
After 5 years with my girlfriend, I decided it was time to tie the knot.
Hopefully the gag stays on too and I can finally get some peace.
My ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, I mean you will need a map and a shovel to find her.
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits into your wife’s clothes.
What do you call a girlfriend with an opinion?
Wrong.
What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?
A $100 bill.
Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut their girlfriends up.
What book do women like the most?
“Their boyfriend’s paycheck!”
The other night my girlfriend said, “Emo I’m seeing another man.”
I said, “Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.”
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